The Outsiders

I have been so excited to finally share one of my favorite books with James.  The Outsiders has been one of my favorite books since I first read it in probably middle school.  James has been enjoying it for probably all the wrong reasons... he LOVES the rumbles.  I love the relationships and how these teens handled adversity.

Today, James read the part of the book where Johnny dies.  I asked James how that made him feel?  "Sad, Mom." I told him his face wasn't showing sad.   I forget that James is so black and white and matter of fact.  Johnny was his favorite character but he couldn't tell why he just knew he liked a lot about him.  Maybe this will be the year that his empathy will transfer from face to face empathy to empathy of characters he loves in books.  He is getting there.  This is my dream for him.... he has different dreams and they are often around some video game.

That Really is the Lost Colony... No One Else has Heard of It!!!!

We have just started with the first colonization attempts in what is now America.  James learned today that Jamestown (founded in 1607) wasn't the first colony but the third.  He got a kick out of a place that has his name in it. (Quick history lesson... King James of England wanted his hand in this new land to make money for himself so he created a Charter called the Virginia Company to do this and Jamestown was founded.)

James has been reading library books about this period of time for his daily 30 minutes of reading. Today he finished the book on the first colony. He was telling his dad about it this afternoon.  He told him (with some help) that the first colony was lost and the second one failed.  When he was asked about the name of the first colony he thought, thought, and I gave him the first letter sound.  He then stated with confidence... "The lost colony of Romeo."  No wonder it was lost... Romeo was still back in Italy wooing Juliet (at least on the London stage!) at the time the first colony of Roanoke was lost with little clues of where it went.  Just another amazing day of homeschooling!!

Romeo and Juliet

        

Making History Relevant to James Today

Helping James get immersed in his education is one of my goals.  Putting himself in his studies is another.  Today for history, James was to read primary sources from "What was early contact like between Europeans and Natives".  James really got into this activity!

"The wemen are very cleanly in making their bread and prepareing meat. I found they account after death to goe into an other world pointing eastward to the Element, and when they saw vs at prayer they observed vs with great silence and respect, especially those to whome I had imparted the meaning of our reverence. To conclude they are a very witty and ingenious people, apt both to vnderstand and speake our language, so that I hope in god as he hath miraculously preserved vs hither from all dangers both of sea and land & their fury so he will make vs authors of his holy will in converting them to our true Christian faith by his owne inspireing grace and knowledge of his deity."


James asked if he could read it and he did a valiant effort.  James was asked to answer several questions about what he read and again, he had fun doing it.  The answers were brief but as James pretended to be a 13 year old boy from the Age of Exploration, I could see him in every word.

1. Did you have fears before you went on the voyage?
1. "Dying mostly... I never went on a ship, but I know that I might not last."
2. How did you feel about the Natives after the first time you met them?
1. "Curious, these people weren't like us, but we're friendly, I even met a Native my age. I had no idea what he said, but my bow with arrow's were there're but habbit's die with age."
3. What do you think you can learn from these people?
1. Not much, sign languadge was all I learned."

I know that some of his answers are hard to understand but he has really improved his ability to put words together to make sense independently over the years.  Homeschool Day 2 ✔

8th Grade!!!! I Can't believe it!!

So it happened!! My little man started 8th grade today!!! We decided to do the homeschool, (yes, I looked it up and this is an appropriate spelling) again this year which gives me the opportunity to really fine tune his needs for when he goes back to the classroom for 9th grade.    I nearly had a heart attack when I saw all of the textbooks that were going to be living in my house for the school year.  I have been dreading the Algebra 1, but we made it through the first day. For all families trying to decide if home schooling is going to be a good decision for their family, there are a few things to keep in mind.

• Homeschooling can be very flexible
• you can take vacations that work for the whole family (just take the materials you will need with you)
• you don't need to do all subjects all of the year.
• we decided to do math and English all year and History for the first half of the year and science the second half.  That way, James won't get so bogged down with 4 classes.
• you can do 5 days of work over the whole week making the actual time spent for one day much less.  This works really well for a lot of our kids because they like the same thing every day.

As a creative mum, I have spent a lot of time trying to find games and activities to teach James what he needs to learn without him knowing that he is learning.  This morning for English, I decided it would be great to start back at the beginning working on parts of speech.  James had a blast playing >>this game<<  he didn't even realize that he was reinforcing necessary skills.  

There are a lot of really great sites where you can find free and very inexpensive materials to help enhance you families educational experience.  One of my favorites is Teachers Pay Teachers >> here <<  I just put in the grade I am looking for and click on free.  YIKES!! There is so much there that James will have to be in the 8th grade for 5 years for me to use it all!!  

Finally, for James, one of his favorite things about homeschooling is he adores his classmates and they adore him back!!

Makes Sense to Him

I feel horrible that I haven't sat at the computer and blogged since last April!  Not that there hasn't been a ton to write about, I just haven't had the inclination to put it to the blog world.  That is about to change.  James starts 8th grade tomorrow (home school style) and I have promised myself that I will sit and write several times a week.  It will be my "homework".  But, to start us off, a little something to whet your appetite for all that is to come.....

James is responsible for several chores around the home.  He does his own laundry, cleans his bathroom counter, empties the dishwasher, and vacuums his room.  All of this with reminders but he does do them.  This morning, I called him to come and empty the dishwasher.  He came quickly, (which is unusual), stood at the kitchen table and asked, "Mom, Dad, when was the last time either of you emptied the dishwasher?" I replied without hesitation, "Yesterday Dad did it." James smiled and simply stated, "That's good enough for me." and off he went to do the dishwasher.  No drama. No "That's not fair's!" No "I always have to do everything's"... He just got to work and did what he was asked to do.  I have to wonder... Who is this child and how long can he stay?

Guided Note Taking

This I made from the Social Studies lesson
on the Increase of Spanish Power (no plagiarism was
intended but this one follows fairly close to the lecture) 

James and I continue to grow in our home schooling experience.  I have enjoyed having him home and being more involved in his education and how he learns.  He has limited Executive Functioning skills, like a lot of kids with Autism. One of the main deficits James has is note taking. It is difficult for him to listen to a lecture, organize the information, and write at the same time.  One of the ways I have helped him with this is to listen to the lecture before he does and create "guided notes." These notes take the information and leave spaces for important words to be written in.  This does several things.  First, it removes the problem of a blank page that needs to be filled up with the wise words of the lecturer.  Second, it keeps him focused because he has to follow the lecture more closely.  Third, James remembers the information because he is getting it through many different avenues. I have asked his charter school to contact the company that makes the curriculum to see if this can be part of their program for next year.  Happy Note Taking!!!

Happy Homeschooling!!!

It has been so long since I have sat and blogged but today was just a day that I couldn't not blog. Quick update:  I am now homeschooling James because he had an illness that kept him out of the classroom for 3 weeks.  His charter school offers a home school program so we transferred him and although the first couple of weeks were rocky, we are now in a really great pattern of getting work done before lunch.
This morning, James was taking a quiz in Social Studies on European Exploration in Southeast Asia.  Up popped this question:

James cracked up rhyming Albuquerque with turkey!  He needed several reminders to focus on the task at hand.  He really wanted to take his break and he knew that he needed to finish the practice and quiz before he could do "James stuff." He eventually finished this question and finished the practice and quiz with 100% on both and was able to take his break.
I never thought I would home school either of my kids.  I have always said that I am a much better mum when my kids go to school and I have time alone during the day.  I am finding that with James, I am having fun, well most of the time.  I am relearning 7th grade curriculum and for the most part, James is cooperative.  He has very negative times but I have worked out a plan for that, (we have had several days without "James computer time." Today has been a great day, well so far.
I hope you enjoy this little clip of my silly guy enjoying Social Studies.

Came at the Perfect Time

James is currently studying Meiosis in science and they have gotten to sexual reproduction.  I have been working on a new pamphlet for my website >>click here<<  about him growing up and starting puberty.  It is a very basic little book about how to talk about relationships, girls, boys, puberty, body changes and the dreaded M word.  (if you read the pamphlet you will get it)

Please let me know if there is anything else you might like me to include or research for you and your growing pre-teen.  >>click here<<

Hold on.... It is going to be a wonderful ride into adulthood!!

What Does "No Homework" Really Mean?

I used to LOATHE doing homework with James!  He would tantrum for hours over putting 5 words in ABC order or doing 3 addition problems.  I have requested countless IEPs to discuss homework modification. I have been a strong advocate for teaching kids at school and allowing them to have time to just be kids at home.  I have spent so many years dreading the minute James walked through the door knowing that the next 30 minutes - 4 hours were going to be a living H E double hockey stick time!  Fast forward to August 2016.  I am not sure what happened but time at home supplementing what has been done at school is now a pretty special time.

The following is an actual recap of the class from my son's teacher's website,

"Today, we reviewed percents, decimals and fractions.  It has been a while since we have had a full day without MAP testing, so I wanted to go over the material again.  We will be reviewing this information tomorrow and have a quiz on it by Wednesday. ​NO HOMEWORK" (Thank you Mr. H. I chatted with him briefly when I picked James up today and he said that there is no homework but that doesn't mean James can't study.  Huh... is that going to be the next battle in my house?  I think I will stick to not telling James we are studying and continue what we are doing because it is working.)

Most kids would probably dance a jig when told there was no homework but for James, that doesn't apply.  No homework in our house just means that there is no formal homework but there is Mum work.  We go over vocabulary learned in Science, and currently we are tirelessly going from decimals to percents, percents to fractions, fractions to decimals and every combination that can be done until James doesn't even need to think about the process.  James reads and is read to.  We do about an hour every day after school as soon as he gets home.  It is working because James is doing very well.  

This is the picture I think of
when James does his best

Not every kid with Autism is like James.  But it doesn't matter if your kid is in preschool or high school or a special day class or a regular class with or without supports; every kid can do some kind of Mum work, Dad work, Grandma or Granddad work when the backpack gets dumped in the hall.  It could be learning a new PECS word, hanging their coat up and placing their shoes neatly in the hall, matching colors, sorting silverware, listening to a story and pointing to a picture in a book, memorizing multiplication tables, or unraveling the mysteries of Shakespeare.  EVERY kid on the spectrum is capable of great things!  Just don't be fooled; most but not all, will require additional support from the home team.  

Even if his brain is giving him the silent
treatment, it is often willing to spend
time thinking, learning and becoming
the best student he can be

To be a successful home team takes planning, research, great communication with teachers and other school personnel, and sometimes the patience of Sisyphus. Start small; 2-3 minutes for each subject, and work your way up to 15-20 minutes.  Put it on your child's schedule, (Unless it is on his schedule, James won't do anything without me knowing how unhappy he is about it.) Take many breaks, have finger snacks available, invite a lovey to the table for comfort and settle in.  In the beginning, you child might need a lot of support.  Give them the support they need to answer the questions and feel proud of their accomplishments.  I promise that in time, your child WILL become more independent.  James and I have been working on this plan for many years and we have finally found a place where all I have to do is set the timer and let him go at it.  Sometimes he wants me to correct as he goes, and that little extra support is usually all it takes for him to finish the Mum work in good spirits.  

HAPPY SCHOOL YEAR EVERYONE!!

WHAT??? A Name???

I have tried really hard to raise my children in a musical home.  They have both taken music lessons and we have just about every live action and animated musical ever made on our DVD shelves.  I have always been a singer and played clarinet from 5th grade through high school.  Growing up, my family went to movies and plays that encouraged my love for Broadway.  

Recently, I have found a wonderful way to encourage active participation while watching some of our favorites.  There is a movie theater not too far from where we live that offers "sing along" versions or some of the greatest musical movies ever made.  We have seen Mamma Mia, The Music Man and last night we got to see Aladdin.  Each time we go we get a "kit." Inside the kit are props to encourage participation.  Favorite one last night at Aladdin... a small packet of crackers that we got to force feed to the person sitting next to us.  For Mamma Mia, fake money we got to throw in the air because that is what people with a lot of money do with it.  Anyway, usually there are about six props for each film.

James has only seen Aladdin on our TV and it isn't a movie that he frequents.  I wasn't sure if he would love it as much as my husband and I do, but I knew it was an experience I needed him to try.  James got surprisingly into the movie, (minus the very loud scenes but my husband's hands over James's ears solved that problem.) The movie got to the scene where Aladdin and Jasmine had been caught after the marketplace scene.  >>click here<< Jasmine was upset at Jafar for (supposedly) carrying out the punishment for "kidnapping the princess."  ("Death... by beheading.") The scene ends with her crying into the thick fur of Rajah's coat, lamenting that she didn't even know the boy's name.  James had been very quiet during this part of the movie.  However, upon hearing that line, he slumped further in his chair and loudly belted out, "REALLY? That is what she is concerned with?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Boy, do I love this kid!!!

I Guess the Extra Math Practice This Summer is Helping.

½ off sale

James came to me last night just before he was heading off to bed.  

Every night as we put James to bed,
we call Kiefer and he comes trotting 
like a puppy, jumps up on the bed and 
settles in.  I know he is mostly there 
for the fuzzy blanket, but James loves 
this part of his end of the day routine!

"Hey, Mom."

"What?"

"Do I have a 3 pack?"

"Ah... what?"

"Well, I don't have a 6 pack so do I at least have a 3 pack?"

"Ah... I don't think so."

"Well then... I'm just fat."

Before I could respond with my motherly quip to help with his self-esteem, away he cheerfully went off wishing me a good night and calling his favorite bedtime fellow, Kiefer.  

Just another night in the Laughter House. 

He is Growing up SO Quickly!!!

Okay, I know that I should expect it because my son is twelve, but it took me by surprise this morning. James has had crushes before, the most notable one in the second grade.  During that one, the young lady's parents contacted the teacher and were very unhappy that James had such affection for their daughter, almost to the point of trying to have him moved to another class. Autism or not, I believe it was an appropriate level of attention for a young child trying out love for the first time.  Anyway... fast forward to today.  James has been doing an online camp for beginning coding using Minecraft. He almost immediately really liked another participant, a young lady only identifiable by her Minecraft username. Today was  the final day of the camp and I spent some time before the camp prepping him for this disappointment. >>Pizza Therapy after last Minecraft experience ending<<  He talked himself into having a great time and it was very successful.

Today, the kids got to do pretty much what they wanted to do, and James and this young lady had a wonderful time.  Towards the end of the camp, the counselors invited all of the kids to the dance floor.  James and all the other kids went and when they got there, James gave a poppy to his young friend.  He whispered to me, "Mom, I have a crush on her."  He blushed, his hands went automatically over his face, his hands got clammy, etc. He was experiencing everything that young boys and girls experience when they truly like each other and want to spend a lot of time together.
At the very end, the counselors let the kids write bios and disclose their first names to the other campers. James wrote that he was twelve and entering the seventh grade. He hoped to have fun and have a lot of friends in the coming school year.  He also wrote that he lived in California.  (I had to stop him from giving out our town.)  His young friend wrote that she was eleven and lives on the East Coast.  (She additionally gave her state, but for her protection her name and location won't show up here.)  James got super excited and he started bouncing in his chair saying that she lived close and we could meet with her. I had to tell him that the East and West Coast are on opposite sides of this very large country.  He took it well, asked her to meet him on his personal Minecraft realm and off he ran to meet her in a place that defies all geographic limitations.  I hope she will be taking the game design camp towards the end of July. That would be so fun for James to meet up with her again in a camp.  However, for now, they will be on his realm in Minecraft and giggling.  The time difference may be difficult for them to work around but Minecraft doesn't follow many of the rules we have on this planet we live on, so I guess it won't be too difficult.

How Can You Tell When Your Kid Has Had Enough Summer Vacation?

Actual conversation in the Laughter House this afternoon...

sweet little man but no words!

"James, time to get ready for Karate.  Please go change in."  (this is our shorthand for getting ready. 'Changing in' is to get ready and 'Changing out' is to take the uniform off.)

sweet young man, words
and attitude of a typical teen

"Mom, I thought Dad wasn't going to make it." (Dad just called telling us he was stuck in traffic.)

"Well James, there are other drivers in the house."

"Oh great, the undrivable mom, (my van is in the shop) and the always irritated with me sister."

"Yup, you do have choices."

My mantra today that will keep me from losing my mind, "I wanted him to be able to talk, I wanted him to be able to talk, I wanted him to be able to talk!"

Boy do I love this kid!!! Especially right now that he is in karate class!!!

Something to Bond Over..... Thankfully

He certainly knocked that one out
of the park!!
(this picture is old but super cute!)

There certainly are challenges when there is a wide age gap between children.  There certainly are benefits, such as having another set of hands to help with whatever chore is daunting at the moment. Our kids, not by design but by destiny, are seven years apart.  James was the best "doll" we ever got our daughter, and she adored him. Over the years, the kids have been close and had basic sibling difficulties like all kids in a family.  
Our daughter is back for five weeks before she moves back to college for summer classes, her own apartment, and the fall quarter. James has had some trepidation about having her return and eventually leave again.  This usually looks and sounds harsh towards the person he is going to miss horribly when they are no longer in his environment.  I have seen it happen time and time again and although it is tough for the person it is directed at, I know that all behavior is communication.  My goal for him is that he will be able to find a way that doesn't alienate the person leaving so they are excited about going away.   
This wonderful exchange happened yesterday between them and it made me smile.  James went through a long period where he was obsessed with everything Mario. Yesterday, he made his sister smile when he let her into his world for a while.  "Princess Peach deserves better! She shouldn't be a damsel in distress all the time!  I mean, what's special about Mario? Peach has magic!"  Our daughter was so impressed with her brother, the budding feminist!! 

Don't PANIC... It is Only Summer Vacation!

It has happened again... The school year is almost over and the summer is nearly upon us.  This year, there is no Brainiac Academy (a science program for incoming 5th and 6th graders) for James because he has aged out of it.  He isn't a kid who can get ESY (extended school year),  So, what is a mum to do?  PLAN.  HYPER PLAN and hope for the best.
While James has visions of restful days wearing only a Tshirt and undies and playing endless hours of Minecraft, I have visions of him going 10 weeks with little to no structure and possibly losing 70% of what his teachers have spent the last 10 months gently cramming into his head.  And so I choose not to panic and have been planning for this summer for the past 9 or so weeks.  First, I scoured classes through the community centers and rec programs. I looked for online activities that would catch his attention while focusing him on an agenda that isn't his. I know that he is good at math, but it's a subject that must be constantly reinforced, or his brain will turn into a sieve and all that knowledge will pour out like a giant waterfall. I also know that James will need to be active so fingers crossed, his Karate Dojo will have a summer camp program.   All I know is that we are racing towards the prize......... August 10th when 7th grade starts!!! (I am by no means trying to rush the summer fun away but 10 weeks is a really long time to be without the structure of school for...........parents)

Here are some ideas to help keep your child's brain active and ready for the next year~

Math: >>click here<<  15-20 problems a day in game form can keep their minds sharp and ready for the new year.  >>click here<< compete against another player or do the games privately.  >>click here<< very cute help Curious George find numbers, numbers in word form and number of items (find one lion). >>click here<< some really cute stuff here.

Language Arts: Really only one word is needed here, well really two,  READ and TALK to your kids. If your mouth isn't tired by the end of the day, and I don't mean from eating ice cream or watermelon, you probably haven't talked enough to your kids.

1. Go to the library
2. Attend story hours
3. Read books together
4. Have your kids read out loud to you and then tell you, in their own words, what they have just read.  After about an hour, have them tell you again, (helps reinforce longer term memory. No worries if they can't remember, you can give them clues.)
5. Mess up favorite stories and have them fix your errors.  No need for tantrums by you changing out favorite part of the story.
6. Reading comprehension can be difficult so help your kids understand what they have just read. 
7. Hit YouTube, and frequent School House Rock.  I was a kid in the 70's and this stuff still makes me smile (all time favorites, "I'm Just a Bill" {I know that one is history but it is GREAT!} and "Interjections!") Both of my kids were brought up on this stuff and James still comes running when he hears the music start for "I'm Just a Bill" and "Interjections!"

I know that the summer is supposed to be relaxing but it is possible if you plan, the beginning of the new school year can go smoother if you lay a good foundation.  

PIZZA THERAPY!!

James totally shut down on the floor of the movie theater

James has been going to Super League Gaming >>click here<< to play Minecraft at a local movie theater.  It was for 4 weeks and before the first session, he didn't sleep the night before because he was sooooo excited!  He loved every minute of this experience except for the final 45 minutes of the fourth session (today).  He was superficially upset that they weren't playing the "exciting games." In reality, James was sabotaging the experience so he wouldn't be upset that it was ending.  This is something that happens when anything he loves ends.  TOTAL SHUTDOWN!!! My husband and I tried everything in our power to get him to rally and have a great end of the gaming.  Nothing would work. Even his teammates, who he talks about fairly constantly at home, couldn't persuade him to join in the fun.  This shutdown was EPIC!!! I felt so bad for him and equally bad for his teammates who had fought hard to finish in second place even without his strong playing capabilities. James is a very sensitive soul and feels things exceptionally strongly.  He talked about giving up Minecraft for good, (a threat that he makes often when we ask him to stop playing so we can do {fill in the blank}.)
We had already decided to go and have pizza at a local pizza place. James adores pizza so I was hoping that it would bring him out of his funk. He told us that he just wanted to go home and never go out again.  My husband and I took a chance that pizza may be the key to getting him in a better mood.  Actually the directions that my phone was giving us made him giggle so that was a positive sign.  Any as predicted, PIZZA therapy did the trick and my cheerful and bubbly boy was back.  Rambling about Minecraft and when he could add his new friends to his realm.  Thank you again pizza!!!

No kidding this is what our meat keeper looks like 90% of the time!
If we ever move again, which isn't likely, but we will always need to
be within 20 miles of a Costco with a food court.

Now that we are finally home, James is in his room frantically adding his friends to his realm and breathing down my neck to contact their mum so he can play with them.  Just another day........

He Finally Learned This!!!! I am soooooo PROUD!!

this was the T shirt he was wearing.   

I have spent many years trying to teach James how to match his clothes.  He has always worn what was clean but never really cared about how they went together.  Over the years we have seen many very interesting top and bottom combinations.  James may finally be understanding how to put clothes together so that they are not offensive to other people's vision.
Today I got a random call from him.  He was stuck in the bathroom at school.  Lucky he had his phone with him!  He called and told me that his clothes had gotten wet and he couldn't leave the bathroom.  I called over to the office, asked for his extra clothes to get to him somehow.  James stayed on the phone with me and eventually some guy took over and got on the phone with me. He was the principal at the other school that shares the campus.
Somehow, James got to the bus. I found out later they actually held the bus for him.  After a short while, I got another call from James, "Mom, would you let me wear............. black shorts with black, red and yellow shirt?"  "It's okay, buddy.  Just come home and we will take care of it. Thank you for checking and I love you."  "Love you too, Mom."  Black shorts match but not as much as the red ones he was wearing this morning.  Nice to be asked though.

And the Oscar Goes to........

Okay, I admit it, I am that mom. The one who ferociously defends her cubs, protecting them from harm but not putting up with any of their destructive fits either.  Yesterday was one of those days.  James needed to get a blood test done before his neurologist would give him more medication to control his seizures.  Easy enough.  James is my brave one, always good during the draws.  Showing those in the waiting room how experts do it.  Well, apparently James didn't get the memo about how good he is at the draws and took forty-five minutes to get off the sidewalk and into the car, and then one hour once we got to the lab to do his draw.  He lay on the floor, shut down, hands over ears, the whole works.  Finally I got him into to the draw room with silly videos of our cats.  He sat and giggled and I thought it would be quick, but the phlebotomists were not ready.  Okay people, I got him in and in a good mood; you need to work on his time, not yours.  Anyway... He had conditions, like he ALWAYS does.  He would sit in the chair but they couldn't put anything in his body.  Couldn't keep that deal.  Okay, he would sit in the chair but no one was allowed to touch him.  Couldn't make that deal either, because one would have to hold his hand to keep the other lab lady safe in case he lost it and slugged her.  Somehow the pressure band was placed, hold your breath now, little pin ......SCREAM.......ch.  James was beside himself.  Only five more tubes and then we are done.  Wailing child continued..... (Child??? This kid wears a size 12 men's shoe which is one size larger than my husband who is 6 foot 1 inch.) .... needle was removed and bandage was placed.  Away we went.  Got to the elevator and had to turn around because the bandage was soaked red.  More screaming.....  As we left for the second or seventh time, my husband asked if they believed he would get an Oscar for his performance.   >>scene change<<
Fifteen years ago or so, I was sitting in the doctor's office with my beautiful, headstrong, determined four- almost five-year old.  She was fine and chatting with the doctor about this and that other princess or Harry Potter something or other.  She has always been verbally precocious.  (My mother-in-law and I both witnessed my gorgeous four month old imitate "I love you." Cross my heart it happened!)  Anyway... there we were at the doctor and the topic of vaccinations came up.  She needed a Hepatitis A shot before entering kindergarten.  All of a sudden, she turned and emphatically told me in no uncertain terms that she would not be getting a shot on that day or any days in the near or far away future.  Okay, here we go.  I was used to epic long negotiations that were the length of War and Peace, all 1225 pages of it. (I am paraphrasing this because it was so long ago.) "I will NOT get a shot." "You need the shot to keep your body healthy." "My body is healthy and I don't need any more help protecting my body." "This shot will help keep your body safe from Hepatitis A, which is a dangerous disease." "I WILL NOT GET A SHOT AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!!"  "Okay, your choice, but don't come crying to me if you happen to get Hepatitis A and your skin turns yellow."  "I DON'T WANT YELLOW SKIN!!!!!" She flung herself onto the chair and the Hepatitis A vaccine was done.  She may be a master but I am the Supreme Master of Childhood Negotiations Defusement.   I am that mom.  Hate me if you must, but neither of my kids have yellow skin or have overdosed on their medication because they were allowed to refuse lifesaving blood tests and vaccinations.

Teachable Moment and Riddle...

When is 3rd place bronze way more precious than 1st place gold?  When you work super hard for the bronze and you get the gold just for showing up.  Today was the karate tournament that James dreads every year.  He HATES them, and he tells me I am the worst mom on the planet for signing him up for it without asking him.  I just tell him it is part of karate and until he is an adult, he follows the karate schedule.
We got to the venue at 9:15 and it took 30 minutes to get him to go into the building. Three hours later, when he still hadn't done any karate, he shut down again and flopped on the pavement just outside the building again.  Shutting down is his fabulous behavior that is so endearing!!! It is like trying to move dead weight through quicksand.  Anyway, off to the riddle.
After about hour 4.5, James was finally called for flag sparring.  He likes the flag sparring because it is gentler and more fun for him.  As we watched him take his place, my husband and I mentioned to each other how gigantic he looked compared to the slew of 4-6 year olds who were going to flag spar. After a short period of time, James was called over to the judges and presented with a gold medal because there was no one else in his age group who was going to do flag sparring.  He was elated that he had gotten a gold medal basically for showing up and breathing. He was so happy that all of the waiting seemed worth it.  This to me was kind of like forgetting about the pain of childbirth the moment the doctor handed me the two most beautiful babies I had ever seen.
I know, RIDDLE...  bear with me, it has been a veeeeeery long day.  James went on to do his Bo routine with such precision.  This was at hour 5 or so and he was soooooo done.  He didn't forget any of the routine, treated the judges with the respect they deserve and off he went.  He got a bronze metal and was sad with a "poor showing".  I decided it would be great to use this as a teachable moment.  I sat with my sullen son and started spinning my best mom lesson.  "James, which metal did you work hard for?  Which one means more to you?"  He thought for a second and quietly answered, "the bronze one because I had to do a routine and the gold one I got because no one else my age showed up." Love teachable moments!!!!!!!!!!  >>click here for wonderful video of Bronze moment<<

Autism Awareness, FINALLY, but not exactly the way I anticipated.

It has been a difficult decision for our family to figure out if we should talk to James about Autism. We have never hid it from him, it is after all, one of the defining factors that makes him who he is.  In the past, we have talked about it as a different way of interacting with and experiencing the world. He never really has seemed that interested in owning this part of his life.  I figured he would talk to us about it when he is ready.  He is finally able to list the 3 main components that are underlying in the diagnosis.  Today, not unlike every other day, James was complaining about practicing his guitar.  He feels that if he plays through the song once, he is done.  I have a different idea on practice techniques. Anyway, he shutdown and got really upset when we tried to negotiate him back into the chair with the guitar and pic.  He yelled and I stood my ground.  Eventually, he got through the practice.  All of a sudden, he apologized and looked at me and stated, "I guess this is because of my Autism.  It is a different way interacting with my environment." (It actually is because he hates to practice and he was being pre-teen difficult!!) James has never chosen to own his different ability. He has always gotten upset with us when we talk about it.  I guess, Autism now has something to offer him.  He is now aware like we are everyday of our lives.

                                                       >>click here for Autism pamphlet<<