Mom, I Had a Dream

Just a very short post today before I whisk my little man off to school.  Like many mornings James came downstairs and announced, "Mom, I had a dream!" (Jamesies dreams are usually about becoming the Pokemon king or some such awesome 9 year old stuff!!)  My reply this morning was, "Wow buddy!  Like Martin Luther King Jr?" (3 day weekend ahead to honor this amazing man)  James's reply, "Wait... he had a dream too?"  Priceless I tell you, Priceless!!  So dream on little man and maybe someday all of our dreams will come true!!

ABA? Contracts? Fencing is Working Miracles with James!!

So, James started fencing lessons last week.  With him, we never really know how he is going to do in any activity.  Brian and I end up freaking out because James is anxious and driving everyone in the class crazy with his questions and constant moving.  Last week at the first class James was all questions and information >>here<<  The coach and his assistant were amazingly patient with him and James truly felt heard.
Last night was class number 2.  James was super excited because he remembered that they would be doing some practicing with partners.  As we pulled up, the coach greeted James by name.  Brian didn't think anything about it but I thought, not a good sign (he had told us all last week that he was horrible with names!  This was kind of like on Monday, when I had to drop James off at school late and the brand new secretary greeted him by name, not a good thing!!) Anyway, the kids got warmed up and off they went to suit up.  This was the first time the kids had worn the very special outfits.  James being left handed he needed help to find the left handed jacket and glove.  Once suited up the kids paired off and were told to practice keeping away from each other either moving backwards or going forwards.  James modified the plan and got in a few tentative "hits" and made sure to let the coach know.
Things were slowing down and James started getting antsy and tired.  He started to wiggle and put his hand up.  His coach looked at him each time and simply said, "James, on guard!" Each time, that little boy snapped back into ready fight position.  It was beautiful!!  Class over and kids were leaving.  James walked up to the coach and with full eye contact said, "Coach, I had fun!" Simple statement I know but for James who really never admits to having genuine fun, it was HUGE!! Fencing will be a part of his life for as long as he wants and we are blessed to have found something that Brian, James and I can all agree is fun!!

Check out this site to see if there is a fencing class meeting near you.  It may be something you child may like >>click here<< 

Did you know that fencing teaches etiquette?  It is probably the most polite sport I have ever witnessed.  It is a "gentleman's sport".  You need to show respect by saluting your opponent, the people watching and the referee (if there is one).  If your opponent for some reason turns their back, you wait for them to turn back around.  At the end of the match, you shake hands and thank your opponent for the good fight.  Life lessons, I tell you.  James is learning how to be a gentleman doing something he loves, fighting.  Talk about symbiosis!!

Yet Another Contract ... I Guess Whatever Works!!

Okay, for all of you who have been following our lives over the past year, you will know that James has been having difficulty with behavior at home.  Homework and getting to school have topped the list.  Currently my crusade has been to tackle the getting to school issue since we now have a homework behaviorist.  This morning I whipped up this contract for James to hopefully get his butt in gear when it comes to getting in the time for school (fully clothed and fed in the best circumstances!!) James is super motivated by the A-F grading system so I used it as the basis of the contract.

So I asked him this morning how he thought he did yesterday.  He said, "Probably an F!"  I told him that he got a D because we got to school albeit late.  Today he got an A and he was over the moon!  I hope it continues to work because I really need him to do a lot more independently now that I can't climb the stairs to drag him off to school.  We will see how the rest of the week goes.  I think he will be fine because hopefully we broke the cycle today!!

AH ... WOW... AH!!

I think I can,I think I can, I can think of him as an angel
instead of the little devil he is in the mornings.  

Another really tough morning with James!  They have been coming fast and furious since school started back up!! Anyway, remember the blog from last week?  Well here it is to refresh your memory >>here<<  The little man certainly knows what is allowed and what isn't allowed and he certainly is taking advantage of his great advantage.  Well this morning, James was awake and giggling with his babysitter but then she had to leave and he refused to come downstairs.  I called my husband in tears and emailed James's teacher indicating that James had won for the day.  There was no way I could get upstairs and fight him today!  All of a sudden, James appeared at the top of the stairs.  I told him to come down and get dressed.  He read angry in my voice and retreated to his bedroom saying, "Mom, you are angry at me!" I told him I wasn't angry at him but I was angry at the situation.  Last thing I heard before the door slammed was, "The situation...  I am part of the situation!!" Okay, so everything really is about him.  He came down 5 minutes later, got dressed, ate breakfast and we got to school 20 minutes late.  As he went through the door to head to his class, he turned and said "I love you."  I responded with my "I love you too" and he started to walk. He turned about 5 feet away and waved a tentative wave.  I waved back and told him to go straight to class.  I know he was just checking to see where he stood with me.  I know I really wanted to give him a hug and let him know that everything was completely okay, but the little man really needs to learn that his actions have consequences.  Mom isn't going to stand by and let him rule to roost when he is supposed to be at school.  So much for him to learn and I hope it happens before tomorrow morning because tomorrow we drop Charlotte first and she has been late too often due to his impulsive behavior!!

Up Goes James's Hand!!!!

My husband and I are pacifists.  We believe in peaceful resolutions to conflict (not sure James is on board with this mission!!) We both are classically rooted in "artistic/ romantic" forms of conflict resolution if weapons may be called for.  Archery, fencing, sword fighting and jousting are all okay and "encouraged" in our house.  James has taken such an interest in these ancient arts, that he had an archery party this year for his birthday >>click here<< Our town is offering fencing classes for beginners and James's response to this was, "sign me up!!"
Finally, Fencing day came!! James was ready! He had studied up on his Wii Fencing game.  The coach started his welcome to all of the kids.  UP went James's hand, "Did you know that fencing as a London Olympic sport?" The coach responded very kindly to all of his inquiries with a, "yes, that is correct." or a "That is a great point, but now in fencing..."  This must have gone on for 12 to 14 exchanges.  My husband and I beamed with James's knowledge.
Eventually, the kids were allowed to touch the wonderful equipment.  James got concerned that none of the equipment felt right.  He raised his hand again and asked for help.  James finally found one that fit with the help of the coach.  James is left handed and I have known this since he was about 1 week old (should have been my first sign, anyway, I digress).  The coach had one more question for James. Did James know why left handed fencers often had a slight advantage.  James thought for a minute and raised his hand again.  "Because we are the surprise!!" Statistically, more people are right handed so the likelihood of your fencing partner being right handed is greater and their moves will be more predictable.  Those lefties, they are the wild card.  James looked back at me and my husband (who is also a lefty) and fist pumped his arm giving us the "yeah ME" sign.
James announced at the end of fencing that the coach was GREAT!!  It takes so little when James is interested in an activity to build a his confidence!!

The Coat Part 2 or Mother of the Year... You decide!!

Okay, so yesterday, James and I had a discussion about needing to take his jacket to school because it was cold, but he said he didn't want it until he smelled the cow poop and then he decided to take it so he could cover his nose >>here<<  So today... well you may need a little back story for you to see what I am talking about.
I am a mom.  I am a mom with 2 kids. I am a mom with 2 kids and in a wheelchair.  I am a mom with 2 kids, in a wheelchair and living in a two story house.  I am a mom with 2 kids, in a wheelchair, living in a two story house and all of the bedrooms are upstairs.  I am a mom with 2 kids in a wheelchair... I am sure you can see where this is going.  UPSTAIRS doors slamming, Charlotte close to tears because she is going to be late to history again, James stripping down to his comfy underwear chuckling, turning his TV up to 40 and simultaneously turning into a squirmy octopus! ME gathering all the strength I have to climb the stairs to lay down the law.  James sweaty and slippery, me in pain, Charlotte still worried about history and now my physical ability to stand long enough to get back downstairs.  I get a shirt on James the octopus, and being the mum I am, sent him to the car to finish getting dressed at school (how did we get him to go downstairs?  I told him that if he hurt Charlotte again, I would give her permission to hurt him!).  I am that mom!  I have taken James to school over the years in many degrees of undressed and dressed.  My mission is to get him to where he is supposed to be.
We finally got Charlotte to school about 10 minutes late.  Not too bad but not great either.  James was a different story.  I pulled up to his school and tried the school psychologist (in training for the day) and then asked for the school principal.  She came out and the discussions began.  James was head down and withdrawn.  Nothing we said could get him to respond.  We finally got him out of the car and the last thing he asked for was his coat.  HIS COAT!! I tried to decide what to do all the way home.  When I did get home, there was an email from his teacher letting me know that James was asking for his jacket and might I be able to bring one for the day?
Okay so here we are... decision time... Do I race home and pick up the forgotten jacket for the little darling or let him freeze his butt off today for putting his sister and me through such an EPIC morning?

Why do I Need a Coat Mom???

A coat for James is just a piece of clothing that is frivolous!  Most of the time he doesn't get what the big need is.  He is the one in the house, running around in his underwear while the rest of us are bundled up waiting for the heat to finally kick in.  Today, we had another apparently pointless discussion about coats.   
"James, take your jacket."
"Why?"
"You mean besides the fact that it is 37 degrees outside?"
"I don't want to take it."
He opens the door of the van and starts to get out of the car without his jacket.
"Yuck!! The cows have been pooping again!!" At this point he got the jacket, placed it over his nose and ran for his classroom.  The beautiful Tracy cows did it again.  They gave him a reason to make a sensible decision!