Really Made Me Think!!...

Okay, most of my posts are light and fluffy.  I kind of like it that way because in the blogging communities that I frequent, the posts tend to be a little more intense.  Loving parents worried about this and that.  They are frantically trying to understand what is going on with their child medically, educationally or in any other way you can imagine.  Today, I would like to try something a little different.  First... click on the play button, turn up the volume and just listen...I'll wait for you so go ahead and enjoy!

Now, read the lyrics and see if you see the same thing I did this morning.  It literally made me stop in my tracks and think about the years since James was diagnosed on 12/20/06.

Where I Want to Be from CHESS in Concert

Who needs a dream?  

Who needs ambition?

Who'd be the fool 

in my position?

Once I had dreams

now they're obsessions

Hopes become needs

lovers possessions.

Then they move in

oh so discreetly.

Slowly at first

smiling too sweetly.

I open doors 

they walked right through them.

Called me their friend

I hardly knew them.

Now I'm where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I

always said I would and yet I feel I haven't won at all.

Running for my life and never looking back in case there's 

someone right behind to shoot me down and say he always knew I'd fall.

When the crazy wheel slows down, where will I be?  Back where I started.

Don't get me wrong

I'm not complaining

Times have been good

Fast, entertaining

But what's the point

If I'm concealing

Most of my thoughts 

All of my feeling 

Now I'm where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I 
always said I would and yet I feel I haven't won at all.
Running for my life and never looking back in case there's 
someone right behind to shoot me down and say he always knew I'd fall.

When the crazy wheel slows down, where will I be?  Back where I started.

When I listened to it again, I mean really listened to it, I saw James's journey.  He was very happy with his dreams, ambitions, obsessions, possessions.  Then came the multitude of therapists with their big smiles, calling him friend although he didn't know how to make friends.  He was happy where he was, what he was doing, he was happy being Just James.  Years later, when the crazy wheel finally stopped look where he is!  Not back where he started at all!!! He started to have fun with the therapy and opening up to us so we could see he concealed thoughts and feelings.

Now I'm where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I always said I would and yet I feel I haven't won at all.  Oh, little man, you have won and so has everyone who knows you!!  We are so glad you are who you want to be and what you want to be and I am so blessed to have done the journey with you.  (as a side note... James was basically basted to Josh Groban. He was the only artist I listened to while I was pregnant.  When James couldn't talk, he would seriously sing Italian (because it is mostly vowels) to the CD.  People could say that he couldn't talk but I would just say to them, "Well HE can sing in Italian!")
So... go back and listen again, you know you want to.  What revelations might you hear in this song?  Enjoy