James Tricked me AGAIN!!!!

Okay, he was safe this time but usually the
crashes are because of him!!

Okay, we all know the drill.  You hear a random crash and you call to the person who is the closest to tell you what has just happened.  Yesterday, I heard a crash upstairs in what I thought was the loft area where I assumed James was.  That was the last place I knew he had been so he must still be there, RIGHT???!!!  "James, what was that crash?"  ""Uh, I don't know."  "Where are you, James?"  "Uh, I don't know. I think I am in the bathroom."  "What do you mean you think you are in the bathroom?  Is there a toilet, sink and tub?  Your voice isn't in the bathroom, so where are you?"
Okay, a little information may be helpful here.  We have a VERY open concept home!  Part of the living room is two stories.  The downstairs is also completely tiled as is a lot of the open space upstairs. Noise carries beautifully!  The perfect home for us to keep an ear on James.
Since my son couldn't give me a definitive answer, I sent my daughter up to investigate where he was. She confirmed that, yes, he was in the bathroom. Doggone open concept house! It and James fooled me again! I never did find out what the crash was. Probably a cat. 

Mom is Exhausted so Daddy Dabbles in the Blog Pool........

As Sarah has noted, the summer has been in some ways awful for James. He has always had a tendency to test the edges of what's allowed, but lately he has also been testing the top, bottom and center! Sometimes it seems like every time one problem is gotten under control, another is revealed. He has made great progress over the years since his diagnosis of classic autism in overcoming the hurdles of his condition and fitting in to the alien "neuro-typical" world. This has happened primarily because he has had a wonderful and knowledgeable advocate in his mother, who found and secured for him great support services that kept moving him forward even when parents and educators alike were at wits' end. But take away the daily structure that channels his impulses and focuses his attention, and watch out! In its absence he has been manifesting what can only be describes as full-blown ADHD (not clinically diagnosed yet but we are on the way!).
Yesterday morning we took him out of town to a clinic that tests children for this condition and educates parents on the same. There was a long wait, and he did not take it well. As the waiting room filled up with other children and parents he became interested in a game a neighboring child was playing on his parent's phone. Sarah turned over her own phone for him to game on, but it was to no avail; he wanted to play what the other boy was playing! Soon he was actively trying to wheedle a "turn" and was very unhappy when we told him no! Throwing things, attempting to leave, head butting and hitting Daddy when prevented (Sarah, at this point said, "Just give us the diagnosis so we can go home!!) -- oh, it was a grand old time! I have seen him with a group of "normal" children and be the best-behaved child in the group; here, with a group of kids suspected of ADD/ADHD and other mental health concerns, he was easily the worst! Fortunately, he was not AT his worst. Still redirectable, and at least he wasn't screaming.

When the time came for parents and children to file into their two separate rooms and sessions he calmed down. With things finally happening, interest in the proceedings took the place of boredom-born misbehavior. While the rooms were not soundproof enough to mask really loud noises, we didn't hear a peep out of him the whole time, and when it was time to go he was happy and smiling, and even shared a high-five with one of the adult coordinators. For our part, we got a lot of good information, even if the questioning on our child was rather perfunctory in comparison to that on others. This last concerned us, as it appeared to indicate a feeling that his autism diagnosis covered all the bases and no additional one was necessary. We as his parents are not looking to slap labels on him but we need the educational community to get a clear understanding about just who they are educating and the best ways to do it.  We know other families whose children have multiple diagnoses through the same insurer, and the appropriate diagnosis for a given disorder can be vital in getting proper treatment. Would any doctor decline to diagnose a patient's pneumonia because he knew that patient already had, say, AIDS? Of course not; the fact that the latter might have contributed to the former would not prevent him from treating the illness actually presenting itself! But while all physical ailments get their due, mental/emotional ones are all too often lumped together. There may be trouble ahead on this one.

*** Sarah did minimal editing and adding some political correctness.  She also created the image.

Beautiful for a Reason!

We have recently gotten a very small fish tank and fish.  Well to be exact, a betta, 2 guppies and 2 frogs.  I got this because of a story my daughters boyfriend told about why they have fish.  They keep fish tanks around their dining table so that the younger children at the table longer (well it stated a few years ago as the "younger children" are now old enough to sit without the draw of the fish TV).  I figured we would give it a try, as I will try anything to keep James at the table for a reasonable meal duration.  It worked for a while but it also drew the cats to the table for all meals!  The cats love to play tag with the feisty frog (one frog passed away shortly after we got it home, it never swam right, so it likely was not well when we got it), and watch the fish swim around.  They love the tank so much that we had to put it in the downstairs bathroom during the night to protect the fish from any cat antics while we are sleeping.
Well, yesterday morning it happened... And it happened bigggggg!!! We forgot to put the fish in the bathroom during the night and the tank got leaned on and over it went!  My husband woke up at 4AM and discovered the disaster.  Wet table, empty tank, not a fish, frog, or cat in sight.  He expected the worst but was relieved to discover the betta on the table in a betta sized puddle and he quickly righted tank and placed him back in the water.  While one guppie didn't survive the trauma, the other one did, but obviously was not right and died within a few hours.  The frog was no where to be found.   We had heard from the pet store  that these frogs are notorious for getting out of tanks and being found in other places.  Well, this amazing frog must have had a tracking devise because he found his way to the cat water bowl which is about 25 feet away from the table!  So from our original tank, the betta and the frog were left and it was clear that a larger tank was in order and a necessity!!

We now have a 3 gallon, half moon shaped tank that has a permanent home.  It has disco lights and bubbles for extra fun (for us at least!) The betta hasn't come out of the corner where the filter lives and the frog is constantly hiding in the tank plants.  However, their new tank roommates have been super busy exploring their new environment.  We have a small catfish type "shark" and three beautiful guppies (blue, orange and yellow).
James commented on how pretty the guppies were yesterday to his sister.  She told him that it is very common for the males of a species to be beautiful.  He thought for a second and then said, "oh... to get the girls to want to marry him!"  Yup, my 8 year old has figured out one of the great mysteries in relationships.  They start so young!
One of the activities done in most elementary schools is Star of the Week.  This is a chance for the kids to shine for a week and the others in the class to tell what they like about each child.  James' teacher had each student write a letter to the Star of the week as a writing exercise.  We got the completed book after all of the Stars had had their turn.  It is a wonderful book and testimony from his classmates and we will cherish it.  One entry stood out.  It was written by a young lady who James really likes (I mean REALLY likes!!) I am paraphrasing here, but, basically she said that he was handsome and she loved his eyes.  James gets the eye comment all the time from just about anyone he comes in contact with.  Let's face it, the kid is gorgeous! Oh boy, my husband and I are going to have our hands full when he gets older, although the girls loved him when he was little too!

Now... 8 year old

Then... 2 1/2 years old

Such a sweet face and caring, green eyes!  The brown mop of curls doesn't hurt either!

Memories........... Oh, That is from the Wrong Musical!

We watch a lot of musicals in our family!  My kids know all of the music from many of the popular musicals from the time they have been alive (RENT, Phantom of the Opera, Hairspray...)  They are also exposed to fun favorites from my husband and my childhood as well as our parents time (Godspell, Singing in the Rain (this one is celebrating it's 60th anniversary this year and Fathom Events is showing it on 7/12/12 in local theaters (theater locations here!) , Meet Me in Saint Louis, State Fair, ...)
Anyway, a few days ago, my husband put Mary Poppins in the DVD player.  James isn't really familiar with this one but he loves music and dancing so my husband gave it a try.  James was enamored by the melodic songs and fun magic that Mary Poppins uses while watching the children.   It was fairly close to James' bedtime and he was obviously tired.  He was certainly enjoying the movie but had already retrieved his pillow and blanket from his bedroom.  We got to the point of the movie when Mary Poppins was putting the children to bed after a busy day in the chalk picture.  They were too excited to possibly go to sleep and she sings her magical lullaby.  James was very interested to find out that I used to sing the same lullaby to him when he was a little baby and toddler.  He was disappointed to find out that he no longer was "fected" by the music as it didn't put him to sleep like it did Jane and Michael.

Today I choose to find my bliss that my family loves musicals as much as I do and it is something we will always have in common.  We will always have music even when we are not together it draws us closer and is the glue that keeps our very special family together. Enjoy a wonderful musical with your family today and make some memories.

A Picture is Worth 1,000,000,000,000,000 Words

Yesterday, I got upset with James for closing his cat in a drawer. Poor sweet kitty was crying when I finally found him. His reaction, was, classic James... "I guess now I just need to DIE!  You want me to DIE just like I want to."  "No, I don't want you to die, I want you to be nice to our cats and all animals." James is all about extremes!  There is no middle ground.  There is nothing between being in mom's good graces and dead.  He stomped downstairs and came up a few minutes later and threw my Mother's Day gift from 2009 at me.  I thanked him and he said nothing as he walked away.  Upon closer examination of the bookmark, I saw that he had added a pen drawing to it.

I have placed it next to my pamphlet I wrote about Autism to remind me that, yes, James has Autism (you can find the pamphlet here: Autism pamphlet).  He is impulsive and doesn't think about consequences.  I have placed it here to remind me I never want to break his heart again!  Sweet little man couldn't find the words to tell me that he was sorry for disappointing me.  Sometimes sorry just doesn't fit the bill.  I have removed the broken heart as a symbol of healing.  Sometimes moms need reminders that kids are kids and they are all works in progress.

Message received little man, just keep the kitties out of the bureau drawers.

Sunday.......AH............I Hope it Never Ends!!

Sundays, have always been my favorite day.  They are the beginning of the new week and all of the mistakes from last week are simply a distant memory.  However, James has another transition to a new camp this week.  It is chess camp, 1 hour a day Monday-Wednesday this week and Monday and Tuesday next week.  Chess is certainly a preferred activity and it isn't as physical as Tennis camp.  It is indoors so, the manic summer weather we have won't bother him.  It is perfect!!!! Yet why am I so nervous about Monday coming?  Well, my loving husband in his helpful way decided to practice chess last night with James and James lost the game.  I cringed while I listened to James scream, "I am never going to Chess Camp!!!!! NEVER!!!" UGGH... Sometimes the greatest help is not to help!
So tomorrow, I need to drag James to a camp that I know that he will LOVE.  Good thing he will have his aide there to help him through his emotions and find his zen spot while play his favorite game with other kids! Wish me luck as I need to fill up more of his day and we are tackling reading chapter books this week.  We have a bunch of Pokemon chapter books that James picked out so I hope it won't be as horrible as I am anticipating.  My motto for tomorrow is plan for the worst and rejoice that I was prepared!! UGGH, I am already exhausted just thinking about it!
Oh Bliss are you there????!!! Olie Olie in come free!!!!! Please don't hide from me I need you more than ever.  Oh Bliss please come out to play!!

Angry Bird to the Rescue

So, all week, James has been working on a contract to get this fun Angry Bird game.   The first two days at camp he succeeded in getting his check for earning swimming and having a good day at Tennis camp.  Wednesday and Thursday, not so much.  He was devastated and wept on Wednesday, but, on Thursday, he had decided that he would never get the game and we should take it back to the store.  Matter of fact and that was it!  NEVER gonna get it EVER!!!!!!!!!                                                         

Yeahbut (See how I snuck that in?  This is the most heard expression in my house), on Friday... he had a great tournament, and finally got the game!!!!! We had fun playing it with him and it really is a great Autism resource.  I remember when James was little, one of the things he hated the most was the block imitation.  This game makes it fun!  He built just about every castle and never tired of reconstructing them as the Red and Yellow Angry Birds knocked them down.  Took an hour to play a game, but James loved every minute! Well worth the money at the store!!!