Monday, February 9, 2015
Puppies and Pansies
Let me just preface this with a caveat... My husband and I are both pacifists. We believe in non violent ways of solving conflict. James was born all boy, ready for a battle at any moment and the more weaponry he had the better and if it blew things up that was a bonus! For years my mantra with him has been, "Puppies and Pansies James, Puppies and Pansies." I say it at least daily. It is my way of letting him know that he is crossing the line into territory I am not comfortable with him going. I want him to stay innocent and sweet. This is a kid who continues to believe in the magic of Christmas and asked Santa this year to please make Pokemon real. He doesn't always have a strong grip on the difference between reality and fiction. This is a kid who lives very happily in the world of Mario, Pokemon, and Minecraft. He cursorily understands that death is forever even though some of his favorite characters die during each battle and come back for the next one. Innocence isn't a commodity that I take lightly. James is only 11 and he should be allowed to be a child for as long as possible. He has plenty of opportunities to be "aggressive" in a gentleman's way. James has taken archery, fencing and is currently doing well in Karate. He plays Chess, Heroica, Battleship and the card game "War". How do I protect him when he isn't under our roof and our rules? We hope that all of the conversations will finally sink in and he will have clear thought when he is asked to play some very cool, very violent, very gun-heavy PlayStation game. Miracles happen every day, right? Puppies and Pansies do frolic together right?Too late to make him return to this stage where everything was innocent? Too late to have him rethink his fondest desires to annihilate everything in his wake? Too late to ...? Yup... too late. To be honest, James is mostly sweet, funny and charming. There is just this "Jekyll Freckle" that seems to always itch. And a guy's gotta scratch what itches, right? Well, scratching that itch last week gave him a one day suspension. In November he had a two day suspension because he was lost in a fantasy experience and told a girl he was going to kill her. He wasn't necessarily talking to her, he was in a role play and she came in. James has a ton of creativity and impulsivity. Talk about explosive! As his mum, I feel I need to cushion him from violence and yet it is everywhere we look these days. That is why I continue with my mantra, Puppies and Pansies James, Puppies and Pansies!!