I am a very trusting person. I truly believe that people are going to do the honest thing. I am always surprised when I am proven wrong time after time. I understand that sometimes people do things for what they consider to be the right reasons even if it is dishonest. I get it... BELIEVE ME, I GET IT. It is sometimes tempting to take advantage of someone because of their innocence, age, ability to understand... It is hard to fight the dark side all the time when opportunities (and cookies) are constantly there. This isn't a religious concept, it is a human one. It goes back to the golden rule we all learned way back when we were little. It is simple and covers a huge amount of moral ground.Let it be said, James understands the concept of money. He knows the monetary denominations and what combinations can be added together to make others. He understands about change and that the change should make up the difference between what he gave and the cost of what he purchased. What he hasn't figured out is having to check on the person giving the change back to him. This is a parental error since we haven't taught him that you need to count your change because sometimes it will not be the correct amount. Whether, on this particular day, it was in human error or intentionally taking advantage of his youth and enthusiastic desire to be ordering his food independently, we will never know.
How do we know what is going on in the heads of others? James received his change and went to walk away. My husband, who always remains in very close proximity, went over to James at this point to help him with the tray of food and money. He must have felt that something was wrong because he at that point counted the change. James had been shortchanged $5. James said that the person put the money in her pocket. Brian not seeing this interaction did the best he could. He showed the cashier the change James had received and pointed out that he should have received $5 more dollars. The cashier gave him the rest of the change and the interaction was done. James was at the table enjoying his pizza and plain spaghetti.
How do we teach our kids, without making them suspicious of everyone, that they always need to make sure the person is being honest? How do we replace the innocence lost? How do we help our kids to trust certain people unilaterally, others with caution and others never until they prove themselves worthy of trust? How do I justify dragging James out of his Autism world into one where people can't always be trusted? How??????????????????
