Triennial Done and Separation of Church and State

It has been a very busy month so far!  I have spent a large amount of my time when not at work, preparing for James's triennial IEP.  With the transition into 6th grade next year there was much to do.  James is doing well and made the honor roll again this grading period.  He missed the Principal's honor roll by a smidge due to his writing.  A simple Google search brought me to this gem... I Hate to Write Huh... someone I know resembles this.  Book will be added to our shelf soon.  Hopefully the resource teacher will add it to her arsenal as well. Another program James has been using with his speech teacher is the Superflex program, check it out... it really is wonderful!! Superflex Anyway, triennial done, James doing well, aide systematically being faded, new school district actually excited about getting James for sixth grade; all in all, it has been a great year, and looking forward to the future, finally.

James was doing homework on Monday, and got concerned when I asked him to finish. He still had definitions to complete on his spelling words. I asked him what the trouble was, and he said he didn't know how to do it. Definitions has been something he has done since the beginning of the school year, so I didn't see what the trouble was. James looked at me and said "But Mom, now I'm being asked to find the religion of the words!" It took very little time to understand what he meant, but his comment made me giggle. I asked him if he meant origin, and he said "Yes, I don't know how to find it." I showed him how to locate the origin of the words and homework was finally done. Just another giggly homework session at the Laughter House.

I know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Cat... Imagine That She Swallowed a CAT!!

Kiefer

Ninja

Literal thinking has it's place.  There are times when it is needed.  7:00 AM on a Monday morning may not be the place or time.  James was surprised that I was the one who woke him up this morning.  I thought I had told him that I would be home in the morning last night but maybe not.  Anyway, I was telling him why I needed to stay home.  I needed to go in for a Cat Scan.  This perplexed him.  First question, "what is a Cat Scan mom?" Well it is a way for doctors to see things that are in our bodies to see what is wrong.  "Are they looking for cats?" Before I could answer, James looked around, did a head count and said, "Nope, they are all here!"  Off he went onto the next topic.  Just another morning I guess.

Hobbit

Astra and Abracadabra Crackadoo

Sprinkling the Black and White Thinking with a Little Rainbow!!

Okay.  We all know that kids with Autism tend to be very black and white thinkers.  James is no exception.  There is usually only one way that things can be done and if deviation happens it is frowned upon. As we generally do at our table suppers, conversations start that can be thought provoking.  Tonight I thought I would tackle a tough one... relationships, dating, marriage.  James is 11 and has in the past been deeply in love with classmates or a therapist.    

Well the conversation started... abridged here, but this is the gist of it. James what do you believe dating is?  "Well it is when a boy and a girl go out to supper or a movie and the boy gives the girl a flower or maybe a watch." Okay, how about if it is two boys? "No mom that would be weird!" Why would that be weird? "Well, they are two boys and there can't be any babies." What if it is two girls?  "That is a possibility I guess. You know mom, I don't have a girlfriend." I know but you are only 11.  "I think 16 is a good age to have a girlfriend."  Sounds reasonable.  "But I think getting married is around 21."  Well I was 30 when I got married so you have time.

All of a sudden the conversation morphed into a Minecraft script.  I guess enough with the thought provoking conversation.  Time to lose our minds in the Minecraft world.

"But I'm an A Student!!" and When did This Happen?

I always have known that James was smart.  Even when he wasn't talking and couldn't be tested, there was something in the way he paid attention.  He was always observing even if he wasn't looking.  Somehow he picked up on what was going on in the world even if he was stuck in his.  Anyway, fast forward to now.  James is in the 5th grade. He has an aide but in a typical classroom.  He keeps up and is doing very well.  His teacher is amazing with him, and for the first time James has someone who understands him as a kid with High Functioning Autism.  She expects him to do classwork like all of the other kids but allows homework to be modified for our sanity.  It is in his IEP so... James has recently taken up using his "Free Homework Passes" for his spelling.  Not really sure why spelling continues to be so targeted in school because every device he will use has spell check.  Anyway... So as you can probably surmise... He didn't do well on the spelling test this past week (I believe if we use metric and take his 42 and convert it from Celsius to Fahrenheit then it magically goes from an F to 107.6 degrees which is definitely an A with extra credit for creativity!??!)   Well, James was obviously upset over his grade.  He told his aide that he couldn't get an F because he was an A student.  His aide talked to him about making better choices with his homework passes and studying more for the tests. 

A very rare picture of the Laughter Mum but this kid makes me 

smile!!

Usually when James gets upset, he packs his things and "moves out." He did it the day before in school when he moved to the principal's office during a new typing skills class.  He has moved out of our house many times but usually just as far as the living room, where he gets engaged in something and then forgets why he wanted to move out.  This time, after the devastating grade, he announced to his aide that he needed a walk and asked if she would take him!  YEARS, we have spent YEARS on asking for a break appropriately!   Wow!!! Two lessons learned in one day and on a day! LOVE this kid!!!

Okay... I Know I'm a Chicken!!

Okay, so I am doing what most people do when they get up. I am having a private moment trying to get ready for my day.  In walks James.
"Mom, what is that noise?"
"I'm peeing"
"Wait, you're not holding anything."
"Well James, boys and girls have different peeing parts."
"So you don't need to hold anything when you pee?  Cool!." and off he went.

This was almost as easy as when my daughter asked me where babies came from when she was three.  I told her the hospital and it worked.  No uncomfortable V and P discussions with a child who didn't need a full anatomy lesson just wanted basic information

So IT Finally Happened!!!

Okay. So we all know kids with Autism have obsessions of some kind or another.  previous post on this topic  James's is currently Minecraft.  He talks about it ALLLLLLL the time.  There isn't a conversation we have had at home over the past several months that hasn't somehow magically found it's way back to this topic.  Well, after tons of prodding from him, my husband and I finally gave in and bought the PC version for our family computer. Seems innocent enough.  We turned off the chat feature and protected him as best as we could.  Paid the fee and started the download.  James danced and twirled!  He "patiently" waited for the download and then it happened.  Every other login on the computer disappeared!  James's obsession finally took over and destroyed our world.  We are now stuck with a computer that only has his login and no way to make him an administrator to try to fix it.  Autism obsession 1           Laughter house computer 0.

Puppies and Pansies

Let me just preface this with a caveat...  My husband and I are both pacifists.  We believe in non violent ways of solving conflict.  James was born all boy, ready for a battle at any moment and the more weaponry he had the better and if it blew things up that was a bonus!  For years my mantra with him has been, "Puppies and Pansies James, Puppies and Pansies."  I say it at least daily.  It is my way of letting him know that he is crossing the line into territory I am not comfortable with him going.   I want him to stay innocent and sweet.  This is a kid who continues to believe in the magic of Christmas and asked Santa this year to please make Pokemon real.  He doesn't always have a strong grip on the difference between reality and fiction.  This is a kid who lives very happily in the world of Mario, Pokemon, and Minecraft.  He cursorily understands that death is forever even though some of his favorite characters die during each battle and come back for the next one.  Innocence isn't a commodity that I take lightly.  James is only 11 and he should be allowed to be a child for as long as possible.  He has plenty of opportunities to be "aggressive" in a gentleman's way.  James has taken archery, fencing and is currently doing well in Karate.  He plays Chess, Heroica, Battleship and the card game "War".  How do I protect him when he isn't under our roof and our rules?  We hope that all of the conversations will finally sink in and he will have clear thought when he is asked to play some very cool, very violent, very gun-heavy PlayStation game.  Miracles happen every day, right?  Puppies and Pansies do frolic together right?

Too late to make him return to this stage where everything was innocent?  Too late to have him rethink his fondest desires to annihilate everything in his wake?  Too late to ...? Yup... too late. To be honest, James is mostly sweet, funny and charming. There is just this "Jekyll Freckle" that seems to always itch.  And a guy's gotta scratch what itches, right?  Well, scratching that itch last week gave him a one day suspension.  In November he had a two day suspension because he was lost in a fantasy experience and told a girl he was going to kill her. He wasn't necessarily talking to her, he was in a role play and she came in.  James has a ton of creativity and impulsivity.  Talk about explosive!   As his mum, I feel I need to cushion him from violence and yet it is everywhere we look these days.  That is why I continue with my mantra, Puppies and Pansies James, Puppies and Pansies!!