Mom... She Said the S-T word!!!!!

James adores chess.  It is a game that he can win because no one else in the house really plays it.  The set that we have is a training set and it has the different moves each piece can make.  Sounds simple, doesn't it?  The concept of chess eludes me. My husband will play with him and they are fairly well matched. My daughter on the other hand, "chess me no likey!" We were talking about chess at supper the other night and James challenged her to a match.  She indicated that the game would be over very quickly because she would make nothing but stupid moves. James looked at her and told me that she had just said the "S-T" word.  She quickly changed the word to "Dumb" and he immediately did the same thing only said that she was using the "D" word. My husband chimed in and gave another alternative, "inadvisable," whereon James immediately smiled at him and said, "Dad, that is an "I" word!"

No wonder no one wants to play chess with him; everything they say will be broken down and turned into a spelling of phonics lesson!  So today I choose to find my bliss knowing that James has mastered the basics of chess,  annoying his sister and making me smile all through his wit.  Chess anyone?  It is your move!!

Award Ceremony... YIPPEE... OH NO.....

Award ceremonies are supposed to be magical.  It is a chance to see our children get recognized for the amazing work they do during the school day.  I always look forward to them but also dread them at the same time.  This week James was given the Stars and Stripes award for academic success.  It is akin to the honor roll but 2nd graders are too young for the school honor roll so I call this one the "baby honor roll."  He received the same award last semester also.
For most kids, this would be the highlight of their day.  A chance to show their parents all of the amazing work they have done while in school.  For James, it was fine until he saw that some kids were getting perfect attendance medals.  It happened in a heartbeat... James was heartbroken! He is a very black and white guy.  If he can't have what he wants then he wants nothing!!  I saw him fight back the emotion and he did very well for a while.  The more kids who received this very special medal, the more unhappy he became.  To put this into perspective, of the approximate 250 kids in the assembly, 10-15 got this award.  To be honest, I haven't figured out how any children in this age range manages not to be sick during the school year, not only there every day but never late and never picked up early.  At the end of the assembly, I could see that James was about to lose it so I indicated to him to come and get a hug.  As he melted into my body, the raw emotion erupted.
I am a seasoned Autism mom.  I can handle anything from anxiety to major meltdowns.  Seeing my little man in such pain touched me in a way that few things in this world do.  I can count on one hand the times that James has exhibited this type of intense real emotion.  At that moment, my mind started soaring to what I could do to heal him and support him emotionally. (Can't help it... I'm a Libra and a natural fixer) I came up with a few medal awards he could have gotten such as, "most thoughtful child for being absent a few times this year giving his teacher a much earned break" or "kid most likely to make a difference in the classroom when he is absent." Those may sound negative to you but to James he doesn't really care what the medal is for as long as it is on a lanyard and he gets to wear it proudly.
I ran home and created one for him and delivered it to school for the psychologist to give to him when she checked in with him later in the day.   It read:

 Perfect attendance award

given to James for 3122

consecutive days of being my

favorite son!!

Today I choose to find my bliss knowing that I can still make my little man feel better with 15 words, an Angry Bird lanyard and, a hug.  I don't know what turned his day around but he had a perfect one!  

Active and Inventive Dressing and Undressing

James is very active!  He moves a lot when he needs to get dressed and undressed. I think it is a shimmy thing, if he wiggles, then the clothes get on and off easier.  Items that are taken off are always karate chopped or punted across the room.  I spend my mornings, after dropping him off at school, following the path of discarded clothing that usually ends up in several rooms.  At this point, I have decided to pick my battles and be grateful that he is showing independence in this life skill.  I will tackle the clothing organization later, when he is old enough to wash his own clothes.
One of my biggest battles in the morning involves finding and getting James' shoes on his feet.  I can't tell you how many times I have called my husband at work and quickly asked, "where are the shoes?" My husband is a ponderer.  Drives me crazy, especially when we are running late!  He will often think for what seems like an eternity (usually 30 seconds or so), and say something like, "Well they could be several places.  Have you looked in the ... or the... you might want to try the..." By this time, I am fit to be tied and my daughter is panicking and looking at the time, knowing that she is going to be late to chemistry AGAIN!  I am feeling a sense of relief with only 4 days left in the school year.  I only have to do the mad hunt 4 more times, and then I have 10 weeks before I need to start it up again.
So today, I find my bliss knowing that James is starting to show some independence in dressing and undressing.  He is creative in his method.  I also choose to find my bliss knowing that very few people on the planet have ever run all over the house looking for shoes, only to find them right in front of their noses.  Next time I am looking, this will certainly be the first place I will try!!

SHHHHHHHHH... Anxiety...........SHHHHHHHHH... I am Watching a Play!!!

As I have said in previous posts, James is riddled with anxiety.  We never really know when it will rear its ugly head but it happened again last night.  I announced at supper that we would be watching the Royal Albert Hall performance of the Phantom of the Opera sometime in the evening.  James adores the music to the show and has watched the movie many times.  However, I learned last night that to him the movie is real and the play really isn't.
James snuggled into a chair as the play started  running and rambled though his anxiety as he heard the beginning of the orchestration.  I knew he was excited because he started talking very fast but this could also be the anxiety working its magic.  Anyway, this is pretty much how it went "Okaymomthisisn'tthemoviewhichIdon'tlikebuttheplaywiththemusicIdolikeandIcansingthemusictotheplayIdolikebuthemovie istooscaryandtheplayisn'trealitisjustthemusicandthepeoplesingingthemusicIlike"
I attempted to sooth his nerves and was greeted with a big "SHHHHHHHHHH, I am watching the play!"

So I shushed and continued watching the play.  James was certainly enjoying it very much and pushed his bath time several times with the "Not now dad, I am watching the play that I like."  He hummed and sang to the music and had a fantastic time.  Soon the show got to the point where the Phantom takes Christine into his lair to train her some more.  She swoons after the Music of the Night song and awakes the next morning still unsure of where she is. She hears the organ playing and goes to investigate.   Now, James loves the unveiling of the Phantom and cheers him on like one would cheer on a favorite team at a sports event.  Something about the character moves him and his empathy kicks in. (This is the clip from the movie as I couldn't find one from the live performance but the music is the same.)
As the mask is torn off of his face, the Phantom uses some strong words (well strong for this show).  James looked at me and said "OOOOOOOH, he said some bad words!  He is in trouble!" I smiled at him an asked if he thought the Phantom would have to write sentences for breaking that rule.  James smiled with unbridled glee and said, "Yeah, make him write sentences, that will teach him!!!" and went back to watching the play.  (James sometimes has to write sentences at school for not following the rules)
Today I choose to find my bliss knowing that my kids have amazing taste in music and know what the rules are in our house.  Whether or not they decide to follow those rules is quite another topic but last night, James remembered that we generally don't use strong words in our house.

Helpful Obsession! Huh?

I know that it is often very easy for us to see our kids' many obsessions as harmful.  Our kids spend so much time with them that they often don't have time for meaningful ventures.  Or do they?
Today we forgot to get cat food at the store and James chimed in with this gem... "If we don't get them food they will go on a RAMPAGE!!" Whoa... big word for a language delayed little man.  "Wow Jamesie... where did you learn such a big word?" "From Pokemon and Reshiram on my game!"  "Do you know what Rampage means?" "UHHH No." "Well what does Reshiram look like when he goes on a rampage?" "He looks MAD and crazy!" "So can you now guess what Rampage means?" "Rampage means MAD and crazy!"

Vocabulary lesson done for the day.  Hopefully your day will be Rampage free and you are able to find you Bliss.

What is "Smolder?" UHHHHHH...

Kids are often a mystery.  James is no exception.  When it comes to preferred entertainment, my little man is all "not what you will expect!" He adores chic flic classics like Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.  The first 2 I get because he got his name from Jane Austen (James Austen).  In the Greek one, he thinks that the dad is hysterical  (I guess Windex tickles him)!  James adores musicals such as State Fair, Singing in the Rain, Meet me in St. Louis, Hello Dolly, and RENT (go ahead and judge if you must, BUT James can do a dead on Roger and sing all of his songs, minus some choice words).  When it comes to the traditional kid movies, he likes the basic boy ones: CARS, Lion King, Speed Racer, and the like, but, when push comes to shove, there are two that are his definite GO TO movies: Enchanted and Tangled.   I have listened to them a gazillion times in the car, and he knows them word for word.  Yesterday, while watching Tangled, he got so sad and I asked why.  He stated, "I am sad for him because she broke his smolder!"

So what exactly is smolder?  Not really sure I want to know, but James knew and that is why he was so sad.  According to James, "A Smolder" is a persons lips, and when they get broken you can't give your mommy a kiss anymore.  Sweet man I have!  So worried about my feelings!  I am a little worried that James will decide to adopt the smolder routine when he wants to kiss a girl that isn't me and his smolder will get broken.  I guess I will have to show him how this translates to the real world as opposed to the animated world to see if it makes a difference.


It's not pretty, James, and real, 3 dimensional girls don't fall for it, if they do... RUN!!  Stick to your amazing smile and you will be fine, but remember girls are often at war with themselves and it is usually a battle that you want nothing to do with
                                           .
So for now, stick to Pokemon, Mario, and your buddy Rodger. They are constant and can't break their lips!  Gosh, I dodged another tricky conversation today.  It was right up there with the dreaded "where do babies come from" that  my daughter asked when she was about 3.  I simply told her that babies come from the hospital and she seemed content with that answer.  I prefer to keep the smolder simmering on the back burner for a few more years, just long enough for me to build the tower to keep all the girls away who are after James for his amazing green eyes, curly hair, and infectious smile!

25 Words and I am Renewed!!!

Wasn't sure what I was going to do today because it is the one year anniversary of the worst day of my life so I was really feeling horrible.  My family is scattered in schools and work and here I am alone again at the computer trying to find my bliss.  I got on Facebook to get up to date on my three pages and got a wonderful surprise on my The Invisible Village page.  There was a message waiting for me from The Golden Hat Foundation.  For those of you who don't know about The Golden Hat Foundation it "is a non-profit organization dedicated to eliminating barriers for people with autism around the world."   www.GoldenHatFoundation.org or on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/GoldenHatFoundation 

   Kate Winslet, (actress) is the primary public face for this project.  She is featured on the cover of the book which she authored with two autism authorities (a mum and her nonverbal son with a lot to say about his autism.) The book was inspired by a poem that Keli (the young boy) wrote about a boy who couldn't talk but his golden hat could and one day the hat became lost.  

Some days I find my bliss in the funny side of Autism and others like today I find my bliss in knowing that in some small way I am heard and acknowledged.  This morning, the 25 word message from The Golden Hat Foundation gave me hope that my passion is appreciated.  I don't have the backing for a large foundation and I don't have thousands of people who are involved in my personal cause to show the world how wonderful my Autism world is, but I do have a very special message saying that 19 hours ago, I was heard as a writer and Autism mum.  The message had a picture of Kate Winslet as the profile picture and I don't know if she wrote the comment or not but today I was heard and James' world was valued.  

So today, take time to find what makes your child wonderfully unique and celebrate it! I leave you with James' attempt at stand up comedy (I challenge you to try not to laugh) click here (he had just put Kiefer down and was terribly worried about the fur on his fingers but held it together to get this wonderful clip)