James thrives on predictability. The unknown scares him and I am usually the one who has to endure the anxiety fest. So predictable, I am. Everyday, in every way, I am the same when it comes to him. He acts, I react in the same way. He jigs, I jag in the same way. He Yins to my Yang in the same direction. I have learned how to counter most of his angst. It isn't easy, and sometimes I fail, but, for the most part I am a Black Belt James Master. He believes that I am the Master of James because he has been told that mums, dads, teachers, and adults are the boss and he has to do what we tell him to do. Tough lesson for an 8 year old with ideals of his own to swallow.
So today, I found my bliss knowing that predictable is a four letter word to James but music to my ears. He needs predictability so that means he also still needs ME!!!!!!!!!! For now, I am at peace with the thought that, I am needed, as I know will not always be so. I certainly love this little man, even though I can predict that some days will be horrible. Today wasn't one of those days, so I go to bed happy and dream of doing it all over again tomorrow, just the same as I did it today!!
|Just keep the pretzels, pizza, french fries, and chicken coming the same|
way, everyday, and I will grow into the adult you want me to be!!