Why is it Okay for the Cat BUT not for my ASD child

One of my favorite books about Autism is called All Cat's Have Asperger Syndrome.  It looks at many typical Aspbergian traits and shows how cats all have the same traits.  Well, I sometimes wish my son was allowed to be like a cat and looked at as cute and cuddly when he displayed many of his Classic Autism traits.  We have 4 cats and they are part of the family.  They all display many traits that we have been trying to help James with over the years.  Let's take a look and see what they are able to get away with and he isn't.

Kiefer

It is okay for our cats to looooove inanimate objects, but we try to have James socialize with people so he gets practice with social relationships.  The cool things about inanimate objects is that they make no judgement.  They have no feelings one way or another about how the relationship goes or doesn't go.  They don't make promises and break them.  They are always there when needed.  I am sure some days James would much rather have a relationship with the chips, like Kiefer does, than struggle with tricky social situations!

Hobbit

It is okay for our cats to find a quiet place to hide.  When James hides, we try to draw him out so that he can have the benefit of a larger world.  James loves tiny places and can often be found in a closet, under the table, or behind something.  Hobbit is our scaredy cat. He loves quiet places and to not be fussed with.  He gets overwhelmed quicker than any of our other cats.  He is the first to run anytime James comes in the room, even if James enters on tiptoes.  Hiding is his specialty.  I am sure some days James would much rather hide, like Hobbit does, than struggle with sensory overload!

Hobbit

It is okay for our cats to torture our bodies in the name of cat love.  They headbutt us, knead our bodies, walk on us, sleep on our faces, you name it, and they do it.  James isn't allowed to hurt other people.  His headbutt can put someone in the hospital.  He has to be reminded to be gentle with the people in his world. I am sure some days James would much rather be able to show his affection as naturally as he feels it, like Hobbit does, than struggle with remembering to control his body all the time.

Hobbit, Abra, Astra, and Kiefer

It is okay for our cats to eat the same food everyday and be as messy as they want.  They never get a choice, they are never asked to eat their food with a fork, they just are allowed to eat in a way that fits their mood.  They can eat alone or in a group.  I am sure James would love never to be asked to try a new food. Being a picky eater is his specialty.  I am sure he would much rather eat upstairs every night with the same food and never have to deal with the unfamiliar.

Astra 

It is okay for our cats to use things in unusual ways.  For James, we worked very hard to get him to use toys and materials in an appropriate way.  Cars are driven on pretend roads, crayons are for coloring with on paper, washing machines are not for anything but washing clothes.  I am sure he would love to let his creative juices run freely and see what happens when he pours lemonade in dryer, or puts a sandwich in the DVD player.

Hobbit and Kiefer

It is okay for our cats to stop "working" and take a break whenever they want, for as long as they want.  They are allowed free reign of where they are able to sleep. They are not limited to a chair, couch, or bed.  James has to work even when he is tired.  He needs to "earn" a break and has a time limit placed on it.  I am sure James would much rather be allowed to be lazy and take a break whenever he wants and for as long as he wants, so he can do what he wants.

check out the nifty potty schedule
behind James and Astra

It is okay for the cats not to follow a routine.  They can do everything the way they want, and can switch it up every time if they like.  They don't know anything about social stories or if/then charts.  Their days are not run by a visual schedule.  They are allowed to be free thinkers if they choose to think.  I am sure James would much rather do things his own way, as it is faster and often has less steps. However, we need him to know the steps before he becomes a free and independent thinker.
It is okay to be who you are without the weight of your labels.  James' cat is named Abracadabra Crackadoo (guess who named him), and he is by far the sweetest, calmest, and most loving cat of the bunch!   He sleeps all day and sleeps all night, just the purrfect cat.  He keeps Hobbit in line when he is spastic.  He makes sure Astra gets her exercise, and he allows Kiefer to have his space.  Labels are fine on soup cans, and can be helpful in getting services that are needed for educational success. However, sometimes it is fun to take all the labels off the can and just be surprised with what you get when you open it.  It is okay to hope that you don't open sauerkraut if you really want peaches, but revel in the possibilities!!!

Abracadabra Crackadoo