What Do You Mean "Where's James?!?!?!?!?!!!!!"

I woke up this morning at 4 with my husband and got out of bed and checked on the children like I do every morning. They were both snugly tucked in their beds with their new Lycra sheets, click here.  No one missing this morning but there have been many occasions where James has wandered away quietly and been misplaced by the adult who was supposed to be watching him.

When he was first diagnosed, my little man was not verbal.  He had violent outburst! He was a sensory mess and could get overstimulated by just breathing!  He was just about the cutest kid you have ever seen with beautiful Shirley Temple ringlets of brown curls, green eyes and long eyelashes. The town where we lived didn't have a preschool class specifically designed to work with kids on the spectrum so James was put in a class with other 3 year olds with mostly speech and language delays.  The teacher insisted he had a 1:1 aide before he started so the district provided one for him.  I remember on a few occasions getting a call that went something like this, "Hello Mrs. K? We are just checking... Did James come to school today?????" "Ah yes, I put him on the bus this morning" "Okay..... have a good day! (click)" I know after that click, a frenzied man (well boy) hunt would begin...... sometime later I might get a followup call "Hi Mrs K, we just wanted to let you know that we really like James' shirt today!" I guess this was secret code for "We found him!!

As it happened, his sister attended the school where the special day class was held and James would likely be found on his way to see her. or, once he was found under her desk.  He once was lost walking from the fire station, which was a block away, back to school, (his favorite park was in between). I thought he was safe because he had a one on one!  What I didn't know was that he often borrowed Harry Potter's invisibility cloak to accomplish what he wanted to do!!!

Over the years James has been misplaced by my husband a few times.  We have an alarm on the doors at home that alert us to when they are opened.  This isn't the case in every environment, and those are the places that James may decide to go into ninja mode and slip away, unbeknownst to the adult types.  A month or so ago, my husband and James were visiting James' beloved PAPA, his grandfather!  Now Papa loves to do everything with James and in the neighborhood where he lives, James is recognized.  One of James' favorite things to do when he visits his Papa is to feed the dogs and cats of the neighbors who are not at home. (do you see where this is going?) Let me just preface this by saying that my father-in-law lives way up in the hills where there are no sidewalks, blind curves, and crazy drivers!  Now on this particular day, James slipped out and decided to knock on doors until he found someone who needed their animals fed.  He was discovered missing from the house about 10 minutes after he left and my husband and father-in-laws went into panic mode!  James was found wandering the neighborhood, still in search for hungry cats and dogs by my father-in-law, safe!  James had no idea that he had been missing because he knew where he was and was on a mission.

when you find your child has wandered away.... quickly but thoroughly look in the regular places and then tackle some of the places you wouldn't expect, and you will likely find them. If there are several of you looking, make sure everyone looks in every location.  A new pair of eyes, even those clouded by panic, can often see things that yours can't.   Our kids have a way of becoming one with the scenery when they are hiding instead of have wandering off.  Make sure you check in the closets and touch the clothing to see if they are just playing an EPIC game of hide and seek.  Check out this wonderful blog by Bacon and Juice Boxes click here.  This is a universal concern and one that I don't take lightly.  There is humor later that adults can loose an entire child but while the event is happening there is nothing funny about it.

If you absolutely can't find them anywhere...take a breath and call 911.  Let them know that you have a child with Autism who has wandered away and give as much identifying information as possible. It is helpful if you use a form like this one: click here and have several copies available to give to the police.  It can be very helpful to trot your little one into the police station as a "getting to know you" exercise.  Let the police know about your child and your child can get used to seeing police as friendly strangers who will help them even when they are not aware that they need help.

I ask you, why is it unconstitutional to microchip our kids but we can do it to our pets?   I love my cats but my kids are way more important to me.  The following is from Autism Risk and Safety Management click here Please also look into some type of child find program that will help you in your time of need like: click here This program a national program.  The time to prepare for an emergency is before it happens.  Please put it on your "to do" list for today. 

Today I choose to find my bliss because we have people in the community who are increasingly being trained to look out and interact with our special ones.  I also choose to ignore that horrible saying: “If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be”.  I love James and I make sure that everyone else who loves him holds on tight to him tooooooo!!